


Smile

by chilled_ramune



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - School, F/M, Headcanon, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-14
Updated: 2013-01-14
Packaged: 2017-11-25 12:41:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/639015
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chilled_ramune/pseuds/chilled_ramune
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If you were going blind soon, what would you want to see? For Terezi Pyrope, the one thing she wants to see may never happen. Based on a headcanon I posted on Tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Smile

**Author's Note:**

> Yep...basically my headcanon is that human Terezi has chronic vision loss-her eyesight is fading away quickly. The day she found out, she devoted herself to memorizing all of her friends faces and emotions. Unfortunately what she really wants to see is Karkat smiling, and that's quickly beginning to look like a hopeless cause.

If you were going to go blind soon, what would you want to see? Most people would probably say they’d want see the world, or maybe just some interesting, exotic, or exciting place. Paris, Tokyo, London, maybe New York City…As for me? I wouldn’t want to see any of that. None of those mean anything to me. I have more important things. I have all of my closest friends. Yeah, I know it sounds like something out of some kiddy show but, really my friends are all I need to see. Dave Strider, the coolest kid you will ever meet; Nepeta Leijon, one of the sweetest most caring people I have ever meet; Vriska Serket, who can be a little bit of a bitch, but is still an amazing friend in the end; all of them…I’ve dedicated myself to learning all their different emotions. The smug look Dave has when he does just about anything, the smile Nepeta gets when she runs to hug you, that crazy spark in Vriska’s eyes every time she gets another bright idea. I have them all in my head like a photo album. But there’s one picture missing and to me it’s the most important of them all. The missing picture belongs to Karkat Vantas, my long time best friend and possible crush, a crabby redhead who, despite his constant insults and yelling, really cares about everyone. But there’s one thing anyone has yet to see him do. No one-not myself, not Jade, Sollux or even Gamzee-has ever seen him smile. 

But, enough about them for a bit, let’s talk about me! The name’s Terezi Pyrope, I’m 12 years old and I’ve just started the seventh grade! At a fairly young age, I began having some serious vision problems. By the time I was six, things were becoming a serious hassle. So my mom decided to take me to get the problem checked out. Not too long after that, I got diagnosed with some kind of chronic vision loss. My eyesight was slipping away fast, and would be gone by the time I turned 14. Yeah, I know, two more years and I’ll be completely blind. Things are already pretty bad; it’s almost gotten to the point where I can’t see any kind of details whatsoever. Pretty soon I’ll have to carry a cane around and probably have some stupid guide to help me through the hallways. That’s why it’s important that I get Karkat to smile soon. Or else I won’t see it at all.

Lately, I’ve been hanging out with him by the track after school in hopes of getting to talk to him and get that smile. I’ve tried so many things and none of them have been successful. I tried telling him jokes that our very own class clown John Egbert taught me-apparently Karkat has no sense of humor. I’ve tried ticking him, but he’s not very ticklish either. I’ve tried letting him know that everything’s all right, that all the insecurities he has, all these things he thinks about thanks to his dad and the constant bullying, that they’re all a whole ton of BS. He wouldn’t even listen to me. I’m starting to give up hope…what if I actually go blind without getting to see him smile?

Here I am now, sitting next to him in complete silence. Neither of us says a word for the longest time. Finally, he speaks up. “So, less than two years now, huh?” I look at him and nod. “I’d be lucky to have a year and a half at this point,” I say with a shrug.

“Aren’t you scared?”

“Scared? Yeah, the thought is kind of scary I guess. But I mean, I gradually slipping into it, so it shouldn’t be all that bad.”

“’Shouldn’t be all that bad’?! Terezi, are you hearing yourself right now?! You’re going to go blind Terezi. You won’t be able to see a thing! But you really don’t care?!”

“I care! I just don’t see any need to freak out about it, or let it get in the way of anything! I mean, there are loads of cool blind people, right?! And I’m going to be one of them!” I grin a little clenching my hand in a fist. “I’ll be the greatest attorney there ever was, eyesight or none!” I giggle slightly at the thought. I always wanted to be an attorney, ever since I was young. There’s something about going to court and serving up justice that just seems really exciting. I decided years ago I wasn’t going to let some stupid handicap get in the way of my dreams. Why would I?

“How the hell do you do that?” I tilted my head a little, not quite understanding what he meant. “What do you mean…?”

“How the hell do you smile and laugh like that, as if you becoming the attorney you’ve always wanted to be will be easy?! It’s not going to be easy, Terezi, don’t think it is.”

“When did I say it was going to be easy? I know being blind is going to make a lot of things difficult, including making my dreams come true. But you know, it is still possible. So what if I can’t see? Did that ever stop Ray Charles from becoming a great musician or Marla Runyan from becoming a three-time national champion runner? No! So why should it stop Terezi Pyrope from becoming the world’s greatest ace attorney? Did you know Harriet Tubman had severe vision impairment? That didn’t stop her did it?” I could go on about people in history with vision impairments for hours. I studied it in my free time, when I wasn’t studying law. They provided me with a bit of inspiration. Okay, a lot of inspiration.

Truth be told, I was a lot more scared at first. I wasn’t sure what to expect, and I had almost given up on my dreams. But my mom began telling me about all these amazing people in history who were blind or had vision impairments. Every single one of them made their dreams come true despite their disability. I began researching them on my own, and soon I was practically a walking encyclopedia on the topic. I learned that, even if I’m going to need help, I can make my dreams come true and Iwill. 

Even though I could spend forever on the topic, I know that my little speeches tend to annoy Karkat, so I shut up about it and just give a small, reassuring smile. “I’ll be all right,” I say. I feel like he’s going to smile back, but of course he doesn’t. He just looks away and finds something else to complain about. “It’s funny how everyone is so much more concerned about you than you are…” he mumbled. “I mean, just the other day, Nepeta was crying about this whole situation, and here you are, laughing it off as if it was nothing!” his voice is almost angry and sends me into a short silence. I didn’t know Nepeta-or anyone for that matter-was that worried about me…I pull my knees up to my chest and sigh softly. “I’ll talk to her later…you all really shouldn’t be that worried, I’ll be fine.” 

“You really think things are going to be perfect for you?”

“I never said that!”

“Well that sure as hell is what you act like!”

“How the hell do I act like that?! By not letting this get me down?! By staying strong despite the odds?! Why don’t you try it once in a while?! For once, Karkat, try to see past the things people say to you, your shitty home life, and all that other shit and see that someone cares about you a lot! So much…” my voice starts to crack and trail off, and I can feel the tears forming in my eyes. “Someone wants you to be happy, Karkat. Someone waits every single day for you to smile…and she’s scared she’s going to miss her chance…she’s so scared…”

I can’t handle it anymore. I break down into sobs and bury my face in my knees. Karkat is silent. Suddenly, I feel his arms wrap around me gently. “Damnit, Terezi…I’m such an idiot…” his breath is hitting my neck and sending chills down my spine. I shift a little and wrap my arms around him. “You’re not,” I whisper, clinging to him. “Don’t ever think you are…” We pull away from the hug at the same time and for a second we’re just sitting there. He wipes away my tears and presses a kiss to my forehead. “You know,” he says, looking at me. “Being with you actually makes me feel a little better sometimes…even if my life is a stupid shithole.” I smile at him a little. “Yeah?” Karkat nods and for the first time ever…he smiles. “Yeah.”

I can’t move for a bit. His smile is so perfect…sweet and sincere, everything I could have hoped for…I smile more and hug him tightly, tackling him to the ground and laughing softly. He sputters and starts yelling at me to get off, but I don’t care. He smiled. I actually got to see him smile. My photo album is finally complete. The faces and emotions of all my friends, each one committed to memory are all there. But the most important one sits in the center. The blurred, but still perfect smile of Karkat Vantas.

Thank you, Karkat.

I love you.


End file.
